A holiday Joke of the Week salute and the Klaben Auto Works goes to Lori from Brecksville along with a bonus Jim Gaffigan link:
When he was a young man, Mr. Leonard’s family fell upon hard times. Thanksgiving was coming soon as his mama nervously counted her pennies. It was time to buy a turkey to serve her family on Thanksgiving, but her budget fell short of the amount needed to buy it.
That afternoon, young Mr. Leonard went into town to fetch his mama some milk when he saw a poster advertising a CONTEST TO WIN A FREE turkey for Thanksgiving. All you had to do to win the turkey was to have the biggest -- organ. And not a piano. He was blessed and knew he would win.
So he goes home shouting, “Mama, I found a way to get you a big juicy turkey for you to serve at Thanksgiving Dinner.”
His mama says, “Thank the good Lord. Our prayers have been answered, but tell me how are you going to afford this big Thanksgiving turkey, dear Leonard?”
Young Leonard hesitates at first, but then quickly answers, “Well, you see Mama, there is a contest in town on Sunday afternoon, and I just know that I will win us that turkey.”
Confused and curious, his Mama asks him, “What do you have to do to win, dear son?”
Stuttering in a shy soft voice, he looks down to the ground as he says, “Well, I just kinda…I gotta show…ah, hell, the man in town with the biggest ---‘um,---you know ----pointing to his manhood---wins that big juicy delicious turkey.”
“Oh no!” says Mama. “I won’t have it! I won’t have you showing all of your private parts to the whole town just to win me a turkey. We will just have to think of another way.”
Mr Leonard looks up at her and says with a convincing voice, “Mama, don’t worry! I’m not going to show the towns people ALL of my private parts….JUST ENOUGH TO WIN THE TURKEY.”
Link to go with the joke: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/jim-gaffigan-on-getting-stuffed-for-thanksgiving/