Joke Of the Week 8/18
Joke of the Week and the $25 Speedway gift card from Klaben Auto goes to Dave Ferrell.
The 86 year old man walked into the crowded waiting room and approached the front desk. The receptionist greeted him and asked why he was there.
"To see the doctor," he explained, "because there's something wrong with my penis."
She became irritated and berated him for using such language in a crowded waiting room and speaking so loudly.
"Why not," the elderly man replied. "You asked me what was wrong and I answered!"
She scolded him. "Now you've embarrassed the entire room full of people. You should have said something was wrong with your ear, and discussed the problem in private with the doctor."
At this point, the man toddled out of the room, waited several minutes, and returned. The receptionist smiled and asked "can I help you?"
"Yes," the man said. "There's something wrong with my ear."
The receptionist nodded approvingly and said "what's wrong with your ear, sir?"
"I can't pee out of it," he answered.
Joke Of The Week 8/25
Joke of the Week snagged by Sharon Tylka of Shreve for the Klaben Auto's $25 gift card from Speedway.
It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from your mouth to your stomach.
A human hair can hold almost 6 ½ pounds.
The length of a man’s "you know what" is three times the length of his thumb.
The femur is as hard as concrete.
A women's heart beats faster than a man’s.
Women blink 2 times as much as men.
We use 300 muscles to keep our balance when we stand.
A woman has listened to this entire joke. A man is still measuring his thumb.
Joke Of The Week 7/21
Jim Gibson of Cuyahoga Falls scores the $25 Speedway gift card from the three LOCAL Klaben Auto Stores for this week's gem.
A woman was being tried for the murder of her third husband.
The prosecutor asked, "What happened to your first husband?"
"He died of mushroom poisoning." said the wife.
"How about your second husband?" asked the prosecutor.
"He died of mushroom poisoning, too," said the woman.
"Well, then," pressed the prosecutor, "what about your third husband?"
The wife replied, "He died of a brain concussion."
"A concussion?" The prosecutor asked "why did that happen?"
The wife paused and then said, "because he wouldn’t eat the mushrooms!"
Chris Cornell remembered with charity & Linkin Park Singer Dead
Written by Sandra MillerChris Cornell was remembered today, on what would have been his 53rd birthday, by something he was passionate about - helping kids. The Chris and Vicky Cornell Foundation announced that they have partnered with Seattle nonprofit Childhaven to create a music therapy program in Chris's memory. The program will help trauma-affected children. Vicky Cornell said, "Chris and I always shared a stron belief in the healing and inspiring power of music. And through Childhaven's establishment of this program, we are able to keep teh promise for Chris by continuing to protect the world's most vulnerable children."
Linkin Park Frontman, Chester Bennington, was found dead in his home this morning by an apparent suicide by hanging. Benninhton died on what would have been Chris Cornell's 53rd birthday. He was close friends with Cornell, and even sang at his funeral. Chester Bennington was 41, and is survived by six children and his wife, Talinda.
Fleetwood Mac making MusiCares history & Zakk Wylde is coming
Written by Sandra MillerEvery year the Recording Acadeny honors an individual musician as the MusiCares Person of the Year - but for the first time ever, the 2018 honoree won't be a person, but a band. Fleetwood Mac will be celebrated with a star-studded concert gala during Grammy Week on January 26th at Radio City Music Hall in New York. They're being recognized for their career achievements and charitable efforts, including their longtime support of MusicCares. The gala benefits the MusiCares Foundation, which provides medical, financial and personal assistance to in-need music community members.
Zakk Wylde is heading out on the road for a three-week tour with his Black Sabbath tribute band, Zakk Sabbath. Look for them to pull into the Beachland Ballroom in Cleveland on September 28th.
Fun Pink Floyd Factoid & Kiss Goes To The Windy City
Written by Sandra MillerIn a recent interview with actress Naomi Watts (King Long, The Ring, Twin Peaks - 2017) she revealed a new bit of Pink Floyd history. Her father, Peter Watts, was the band's sound engineer until 1974. Unfortunately, he died of a heroin overdose in 1976 at the age of 31. Naomi says she has old photos of her parents on the beach in St. Tropez, and when her died died the band gave her mother a little bit of money to help her out until she got back on her feet. It's Peter Watts that you hear laughing in "Brain Damage" and you can hear him talking in "Speak To Me." His picture is also on the back cover on Ummagumma - he's the guy on the right.
Gene Simmons & Paul Stanley of KISS are opening a bunch of their Rock & Brews restaurants in Chicago. They're looking to open the first Chicago location next year with an additional 10-15 in the area over the next 5-7 years. Their ultimate plan is to have around 100 locations across the U.S. in the next 5 years.
Graham Nash is playing tiny venues on his solo tour... including Cleveland
Written by Sandra MillerGraham Nash just kicked off a tour to support his lastest album, This Path Tonight, which came out last year. He's playing in small little venues across the United States and he's loving it. He says these intimate shows allow him to see the faces he's playing to and see their reaction to the music. It's up close & personal, not just for the fans but to him as well. Another thing he's enjoying is the freedom with the setlist each night. It's just him on a stage with no one else's opinion about what songs to play. Of course he'll play the staples the audience loves, but this gives him a chance to polish off some gems that never get played when he tours with CSN, or CSNY. You can catch Graham Nash when he plays Cleveland's Music Box Supper Club on September 19th. Tickets and info can be found at http://www.musicboxcle.com/event/graham-nash-sep19/.
The long in the works movie about Queen and Freddie Mercury is getting closer to a reality. A casting call has been put out for movie, which Brian May and Roger Taylor are executive producing. The biopic is called Bohemian Rhapsody, and they're looking for Londoners that would like to be a part of it. They're looking for men & women with "70' and 80s hair." The film is tentatively scheduled to hit theaters December 2018.
Is it a joke? Kid Rock might be looking to run for Senate in his home state of Michigan next year. There's a site called www.KidRockForSenate.com and when asked about whether it was a hoax, Kid Rock says the website is absolutely real. There's not much to it, but there is a link to his official website to it where you can go to his merch page & pick up some Kid Rock for Senate swag.
Now On Alexa
Click on the video play button and let Jeff & Sandra show you how to use your Echo Dot "Alexa" Device
1) If you have an Amazon Echo or Dot -its now easy to listen to WONE at home with Alexa!
2) To enable the WONE skill, just say "Alexa, enable WONE". You only need to do this once!
3) Then, any time you want to listen to WONE, just say "Alexa, open WONE"
You'll then be greeted by one of our air personalities!
According to an exclusive report from the New York Post, Bruce Springsteen is headed to Broadway this fall! A theater sourse says The Boss will start an 8-week engagement at the 975 seat Walter Kerr Theatre in New York City in November, and will be playing 5 shows a week. The shows will be pared-down from his usual gigs for the intimate setting. The Post also points out that this could just be the beginning of something bigger on Broadway for Bruce... perhaps warming things up for a stage musical based on his memoir, Born to Run.
Congratulations to both Steven Tyler and Joe Perry of Aerosmith. Both of them became grandpas (again) on Wednesday. It started off Wednesday morning when Tyler's daughter, Mia, gave birth to 7 pound 11 ounce baby boy. It was Mia's first child, and Tyler's 4th grandchild. Then Wednesday afternoon Joe Perry was passing our cigars as his son Adrian and daughter-n-law Ann gave birth to a 6 pound 9 ounce girl. Unfortunately, the new grandpa's won't have too much time to snuggle their bundles. Aerosmith kicks off an overseas tour next week.
Joke Of The Week 4/28
He just wants to be known as Richard from Green, and he gets The Works from Klaben Auto for the Joke of the Week.
Three guys die and go to hell. When they arrive the devil informs them that he is going to remove their jewels.
Literally. .
“Oh, how are you going to do it?” asks one of the guys.
“Whatever your father’s jobs were, that’s how I’ll remove them” says the devil.
So he calls over the first guy “Your father was a lumberjack… So will use a chain saw.” With with one swipe of the saw, they were gone.
To the second guy he says “Your father was a blacksmith… So I’m going to burn it off” And with one rush of flame, they were gone.
As the Devil calls the third guy over he notices his third victim is smiling. “Why are you smiling, you just watched me remove your friends jewels!" says the devil.
“I know,” replies the man, “but my father sold popsicles.”
News spread Saturday that the undisputed father of rock and roll, Chuck Berry, had passed away at the age of 90. With hits like "Johnny B. Goode," "Maybelline," "Roll Over Beethoven" and many, many others, Berry took the R&B of the 50's, added some country flair, a little showmanship and created a whole new sound that had no rules, but inspired artists for decades to come. John Lennon once said, "If you were going to rock and roll another name, you might call it 'Chuck Berry'."
Chuck Berry is survived by his wife of over 50 years, Themetta "Toddy" Suggs, and his four children Ingrid Berry-Clay, Chuck Berry Jr., Aloha Isa Lei Berry and Melody Exes Berry.
Rockers have taken to social media to express their thoughts:
Mick Jagger: "I am so sad to hear of Chuck Berry's passing. I want to thank him for all the inspirational music he gave to us... he lit up our teenage years, and blew linfe into our dreams of being musicians and performers... His lyrics shone above others and threw a strange light on the American dream.
Chuck you were amazing and your music is engraved inside us forever."
Keith Richards: "One of my big lights has gone out."
Bruce Springsteen: "Chuck Berry was rock's greatest practitioner, guitarist and the greatest pure rock 'n' roll writer who ever lived."
Rod Stewart: It started with Chuck Berry. He inspired us all. The 1st album I bought was Chuck's "Live at the Tivoli" and I was never the same."
John Fogerty: "Great songwriter, great guitar player, great singer. One of a kind. Thank you Mr. Chuck Berry for teaching me how it's done. Hail, hail Rock and Roll! RIP my friend."
Elton John: "The greatest rock & roll songwriter of all time. Thanks for all those wonderful records that will define rock music forever."
Billy Idol: "RIP Chuck Berry. Without him Rock n Roll wouldn't be what it came to be."
Alice Cooper: "Everybody in rock 'n' roll, from The BEatles to Alice Cooper, owes Chuck Berry. We all cut our teeth on Chuck. I learned to write lyrics listening to Chuck Berry songs. In my opinion, he was the greatest rock lyricist of all time. What I loved about him is that if he couldn't think of a word he's just
make one up. His songs include words like 'botheration', 'cooleration'. He was the single greatest influence in rock, and there will never, ever, be another Chuck Berry. He was one of a kind!"
Jimmy Page has been diggin way, way into his vaults over the past several years, and all the way in the back he's found an entire albums worth of material he recorded back in 1961. Five years before he joined The Yardbirds, and seven years before he starting Led Zeppelin, Page was in the studio recoeding demos for Chris Farlowe and te Thunderbirds. The Beginning will be released on April 30th in a CD plus-vinyl-LP package and a deluxe limited edition signed by himself and Farlowe. You can pre-order it now or buy it once it comes out at JimmyPage.com. There's also a little snippet from the ablum there for you to check out.
