Joke of the Week (60)

Friday, 17 March 2017 09:40

Joke of the Week 3/17/17

jokoftheweek frogs

The Joke of the Week comes from Jim Brown of Hudson, who snares The Works from Klaben Auto.

A man walked into a church in Pittsburgh and told the priest he had problems. The man didn’t have any arms and he couldn’t find a job.

The priest had an idea. He told the man that he could ring the bell. He showed him where and told him to move forward pushing the bell forward and get out of the way to let it ring.

The man started and got good at it...until one day, he didn’t get out of the way and the bell swung back and knocked him off the tower to his death. A crowd gathered, but no one knew him.

Then along came the priest...they all asked if he recognized the man: his response was "I don't remember his name, but his face rings a bell"!

 

Friday, 10 March 2017 09:39

Joke of the Week 3/10/17

jokoftheweek dog

Joke of the Week is a sick one -- and thanks Denny Henke of New Philadelphia, who gets The Works from Klaben.

There was a bad airline crash in Pittsburgh. The FAA called family members to an aircraft hanger to Identify the remains. After most had been identified, and official reached down and picked up a head by the hair, held it high above his head, and called out "can anyone identify this man?'

A guy way in the back yells out "it looks like my brother.......but he wasn't that tall!!!"

 

 

Friday, 03 March 2017 09:54

Joke of the Week 3/3/17

jokeoftheweek neonlights

Joke of the Week goes to Dave Cornish of Akron, who gets The Works from Klaben Auto for this quickie

Have you ever wondered if the dollar bills in your purse or wallet were ever in a stripper’s butt crack?

If not, you’re wondering now. Have a nice day!

 

 

Monday, 27 February 2017 11:27

Joke of the Week 2/24/17

jokeoftheweek donkey

Congrats and thanks to Terri Heffelfinger of Jeromesville for this Joke of the Week -- getting The Works from Klaben Auto!

After a long day at the waste treatment facility, Steeler Jim arrives home to his trailer, walks in and sees his wife, Bengal Betty, watching a cooking show.

He says, "Why are you watching that? You don't know how to cook."

Bengal Betty looks at him and says "So...you watch porn."

 

Friday, 17 February 2017 09:39

Joke of the Week 2/17

jokeoftheweek bananas

Jim Gibson's getting The Works from Klaben Auto for the Joke of the Week.

Little Mario comes back from the school crying. “Mom, everybody in the school calls me "Mafioso".

“Donna worry, my son. Tomorrow I will go to see the principal.”

“Thank you mom. Please make it look like an accident.”

 

Friday, 03 February 2017 10:46

Joke of the Week 2/3/17

jokeoftheweek girl2

Joke of the Week winner Rebecca Connor hails from Barberton, and scores for The Works from Klaben Auto!

Three football fans die at the same time and go to heaven. A Bengal fan, a Ravens fan and a Steelers fan.

An angel greets them and tells them "There is good news, everyone here gets a car. The more faithful you were to your wife the better the car. You get your cars in a week."

A week goes by and the guys return to see what kind of cars they got.

The Bengals fan says that he was not the most faithful, cheated a lot and feels bad about it and received a Prius. The Ravens fan said, "I only cheated two times and regret it, and I got a Porsche".

The Steelers fan was crying, but finally responds, "I never cheated one time and got the top of the line Lamborghini".

The other guys say, "That’s great, so why are you upset?"

The Steelers fan says "My wife just died yesterday and I just saw her go by; she was pedaling a tricycle".

 

Friday, 20 January 2017 10:00

Joke of the Week 1/20/17

jokeoftheweek donkey

Heather didn't want us using her last name, even though we told her Steeler Jim doesn't read that far. She wins The Works from Klaben for this short sweet Joke of the Week!

Have you heard? Scientists have discovered the one sexual position that makes ugly kids! Just ask Steeler Jim’s Mom.

 

 

Friday, 13 January 2017 09:50

Joke of the Week 1/13

jokoftheweek frogs

Congrats to John Gilbertson of Macedonia for contributing this Joke of the Week for The Works from Klaben!

A Texan walks into a pub in Cincinnati and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer; in fact, one woman leaves but returns about 15 minutes later. Then Bengal Betty taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?"

The Texan says yes, and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Bengal Betty tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives Betty the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

Bengal Betty replies, "Oh ... I had to go to the bar down the street to see if I could do it first."

 

Friday, 23 December 2016 10:31

Joke Of The Week 12/23

Tony from Orrville scores Joke of the Week with his lineup of Christmas one-liners -- and that's got Tony the Klaben Works!

- What did the kid with two broken arms and two broken legs get for Christmas? A skateboard!

- Why did the snowman have a big smile on his face? Because the snow blower was coming down the street.

- Why was Santa upset over the sweater he got for Christmas? Because he was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

- As I was paying the cashier for my Christmas tree, he asked "Are you going to put that up yourself?" I replied "no, you sick dog. I'm putting it up in the living room."

Merry Christmas, and to all a ROCKIN' night!

Friday, 16 December 2016 11:25

Joke of the Week 12/16

jokeoftheweek shhh

Barnyard humor for this Joke of the Week from Dan Creighton of Canton for The Works from Klaben:

Steeler Jim and his buddy were out deer hunting when they came across a Billy Goat with his horns caught in a fence. They walk up and check it out and sure enough, the goat was really stuck.

Jim's buddy winked "watch this" and walked over to the goat and starts slapping him on the butt. When he was done, Steeler Jim exclaimed "I want a turn!"

Go ahead, replies his buddy, so Steeler Jim went over and stuck his head in the fence.

 

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