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. Posted in Joke of the Week

The joke of the week comes from James Midolo of New London -- and it's seven for the price of one! 



My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault - I should have taken them off.

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night ... or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

After both suffering from depression for a while, my wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself - I started to feel a lot better. So I thought – the hell with it !!!

I woke up this morning at 8 am, and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor - not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonalds serves breakfast until 10:00.

The other night my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay?!"

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex!

. Posted in Joke of the Week

The Joke of the Week: thanks to Ray Collins of Akron!

Little Johnny sees his family's car drive by, and inside are his father and Aunt Jane. They drive into the woods.

He follows, and watches. He goes home and starts telling is Mom what he saw.

"I saw Daddy hugging and kissing Aunt Jane, then he helped her with her shirt and she helped him with his drawers..." but his Mom cut him off and said "why don't you continue that story at supper tonight? I'd love to see your Dad's face."

So, at supper that night, Johnny tells his story: "I saw you and Aunt Jane drive into the woods. You started hugging and kissing her, then you helped her off with her shirt and she helped you with your drawers. Then I saw you and Aunt Jane do just what Mommy and Uncle Bill did when you were in the Army."

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